Where We Left Off
by daydreamdamsel
Summary: Six years after the events of Trollhunters he's finally home.
1. Burnt Coffee

Barbara heard her cup of coffee shatter against the floor. It had been six years since she had last seen her son's face in person end even then it was unfamiliar to her still. His human features-though something about them different- were the last thing she expected when she answered her front door.

"Jim you're… but… is Arcadia not safe? Did something happen? Are you-"

Jim pulled her into a tight hug, cutting her off mid-interrogation. His lips curved into a smile.

"I'm home mom" he beamed, "and this time I'm staying."

She pulled away, looking up at him, her eyes searching his face. She found herself cupping his cheeks, wiping away a tear that escaped him.

"You've grown so much! You're taller than me already! how did you undo the spell? Goodness you're freezing! Come inside before you catch your death!"

He nodded, following her in and stepping over the broken mug, "Sorry I didn't call ahead… I'll clean that up for you."

The house was warm, the lights casting a golden glow over the photos on the wall. He ducked down and examined them, the familiarity comforting. He missed this. The sound of his footsteps were heavy against the worn wooden floors as he made his way into the kitchen.

"I'll take some coffee if there's any left."

She sipped hers and replied, "since when do you drink coffee? Claire didn't mention that."

He grew quiet for a moment as he poured his. After seeming to sort out his thoughts he glanced over, a hopeful expression on his face.

"She'd be awake at this time right? I.. I miss her so much."

He ran a hand through his messy hair, the blue toned strands seeming to defy gravity. Claire had come home to visit often but after coming home with a few stitches in her arm four years earlier she had stayed. Long distance was hard. More so when your boyfriend had no cell signal and was nocturnal.

Barbara glanced at the stove clock, nodding a little as she explained, "She never really fully adjusted to normal daylight hours. Maybe try giving her a call though. You might scare the poor girl to death if you go banging on her door at two in the morning."

He offered a lopsided smile and stuck his hand in his pocket, tracing the cool metal of his amulet.

"Was my thought process really that obvious? I'm used to being a little more… stone faced."

"With jokes like that you're lucky you got my genetics Jim." She smiled warmly, "go on. She misses you just as much as you miss her."

He pulled her into another tight hug before taking his mug and vanishing out the door. Barbara smiled softly, flicking on the back light before heading up to bed. She had a feeling that she would sleep tonight.

Jim sipped his coffee, noting the slightly burnt taste as he unlocked his phone and hit the call button. He smiled to himself, automatically associating the taste with being home from years of birthdays celebrated with overdone pancakes. The steps were cool against the backs of his legs as he waited to see if Claire would pick up.

The phone only had time to ring once before her voice came through the speaker, "Jim! You aren't underground right now? I mean obviously not since you called me but why not? Is everything okay?"

"I miss you."

She was quiet for a moment before replying, "you… sound different. Are you sick or..?"

The hopeful tone of her voice gave away her thought process without her having to put it into words.

_Did the spell break? Can you come home?_

He couldn't keep the smile out of his voice as he answered, "You know mum burns her coffee too. Gives it a really bitter aftertaste."

There was a clattering sound which he could only guess was her phone being dropped. He hummed softly, noting the difference in his voice as he waited for her response. Moments later his phone beeped and he glanced at the screen, sighing.

_Call Disconnected _

Claire puffed her cheeks. Of all the places she could have dropped her phone of course it had to be the sink. Maybe this was punishment for not doing the dishes earlier. Her feet were leading her out the door before she could even think twice about it, the idea of seeing Jim again seeming almost too good to be true. She had so many questions. How did he change back? When? Why didn't he phone ahead? Was there a reason he didn't tell her before? Did this mean he could move back or would being the Trollhunter get in the way of that?

She paused, a smile tugging at her lips. Was he still all limbs like when they first started dating? The idea that he might not be made her face flush as she started running. His house wasn't far but every second felt like an hour knowing he was waiting for her.

When his house came into view she slowed to a walk, her heart hammering against her ribcage. She pressed her hands to her cheeks, her fingers frigid. Maybe she should have brought a jacket.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she raised a hand to knock and the door swung open. Her eyes widened a little. He most definitely was not a troll anymore. Her brain unfroze and she burst into tears, throwing her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest.

_Gods she missed this._

He automatically wrapped his arms around her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. This was all he needed. The late mornings trying to figure out how to reverse the spell, the long training sessions with the other trolls so they could handle most threats, everything was worth it for this one moment.

"I'm home."

She nodded her head, smiling a little, her hands gripping the back of his sweater.

He shivered, frowning at how cold her skin was before leading her far enough inside to close the door.

"Where's your jacket?"

She reached up to fiddle with a hairclip, admitting, "I forgot it. I was focused on getting to see you." She smiled up at him, her eyes a little red, "I missed you so much… Welcome home."

He felt his own eyes tear up.

_She missed him. He was home. _

Claire's eyes twinkled as she looked him over. He looked different than she had initially thought he would, no doubt from years of training and fighting. A small scar on his cheek caught her attention and she reached up, tracing its curved shape.

"Do you have other-"

He cut her off, turning around and pulling his shirt up to show the constellations of silver markings on his back.

"I didn't even notice them as a troll. Guess I should have been more careful in the training grounds."

"This one," her fingers traced a deep looking one that stretched from his shoulder to the small of his back, "that's not from training. That was the day you sent me to the hospital. The reason you sent me home."

"I couldn't risk losing you. You know that. It took us weeks to finally get rid of those things… all claws and teeth and limbs…"

She sighed a little. He was right.

"Are you gonna stop holding your shirt up…?"

He tugged it back down, turning to her and murmuring, "sorry yeah. So umm…" he rubbed the back of his neck, "four years is… a long time. Wow. I don't know where to start."

"Start by kissing me."

He blinked. Kissing her. Why hadn't he thought of that sooner? He smiled, cupping her face and leaning down. His lips landed on her forehead.

"I love you."

He kissed her nose and cheeks before finally stopping at her lips, the warmth of her breath turning his stomach to butterflies just like the first time. She closed the distance before he had a chance to.


	2. On Diets and Dates

Jim yawned, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she snuggled closer to him. The couch was the softest thing he could imagine after all the years he had gone to sleep armoured. He wanted to hear everything Claire was saying but at this rate he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open.

"Do you wanna sleep with me..?"

He nearly choked on his own tongue, his sleep-fogged brain struggling to process. Had Claire just asked him to-

"I can barely keep my eyes open is all so it makes more sense than staying awake but… I'm not ready to let go of you yet."

He relaxed, tightening his hold on her instinctively.

He searched her eyes, vulnerability creeping into his voice, "I'm not ready to let you go... ever again. You won't… You'll still be here when I wake up right?"

She nodded, pressing a half-awake kiss to his shoulder.

He nodded back, shifting a little to get comfortable before closing his eyes and letting himself drift off.

When Barbara came down in the morning, still rubbing sleep from her eyes, she wasn't at all surprised to see Jim and Claire asleep on the couch. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding; tension leaking from her shoulders. This was right. This was how home should feel.

Sunbeams crept in through the curtains, casting them in a golden glow. The way they fit together with such peaceful expressions looked like something out of a storybook. She half expected she would wake up. Her life had always been such a mess.

_How could something this perfect come from it? _

Her heart ached and she glanced at the family photos on the wall beside her. It had been just her and Jim for so long… After James left she had tried her best to juggle being a mom and being a dad but each day only has so many hours. Her head filled with poisonous thoughts she had spent so long fighting off.

_Would he have been happier if he had gone with James? Was she really enough of a family for him? If only she had been a better wife then maybe-_

Taking a deep breath she shook off her thoughts, slipping out the door to head to work. She was halfway into her car when she caught Toby's reflection in the rear view mirror.

_He doesn't know about Jim yet._

A smile tugged at her lips. She could picture his reaction now. She got back out and waved across the street.

"Toby! Could you do me a favour?"

She felt a dull ache when he smiled and jogged over, his thinner appearance giving away how his eating habits had changed after his nana had passed away. The poor boy needed some good news in his life.

"What's up Doctor Lake?"

"Could you go inside and check that Jim didn't leave the coffee maker on last night?"

He froze and his eyes widened as he processed.

"He… Jimbo's back?!"

She burst into laughter and nodded, "I've got to head to work. Him and Claire are still asleep on the couch so you're welcome to come back late-"

She blinked in shock, the front door of her house already slamming shut behind him, his excited voice loud enough for her to hear outside. Smiling, she shook her head a little, got into her car and pulled out of the driveway, humming softly. The three of them had a lot of catching up to do.

Toby knocked a lamp over in his hurry, the sound of metal rod coming in contact with human head far from satisfying when it was accidental. He saw his life flash before his eyes as he took in the scene, a very angry, very groggy grown up Jim holding the lamp that had unfortunately just landed on his face. It seemed that wasn't the good morning kiss he was hoping for.

"Toby?! What the fu-"

Toby cut him off, his best efforts to conceal the panic in his tone failing miserably, "Jim! You're awake! What's that? How about I go put on coffee? Yeah great idea! You just take your time waking up!"

Jim stood, making sure not to disturb Claire. He carefully tucked her in with a blanket, spending a few seconds to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead before turning to face Toby.

"Toby… It's been six years since we last saw each other. As much as I want to beat the living daylights out of you for trying to break the lamp rod over my head, I'm happy to see you." He looked him over, noticing how different he looked now, "Your diet worked out huh?"

Toby seemed much less afraid for his life, looking minorly annoyed instead as he answered, "Actually I lost the weight after you left and I dropped my diet. Are you sure you weren't trying to keep my fat on purpose dude? I know I'm a threat to you when it comes to women but not cool, seriously."

Jim burst into laughter, the sound startling him a little, so vastly different from how it had sounded as a troll. Toby paled, putting a finger to his lips and gesturing towards Claire.

"Darcy told me she sleeps like the dead but just in case, maybe we should go talk outside? I'd hate to be on the receiving end of Claire's wrath." A shudder ran through him; he had seen someone in that unfortunate situation before Jim assumed, "And besides, you can feel the sunlight again now dude! You're whiter than death! Come get your tan back!"

Jim rolled his eyes but nodded, following him outside and shutting the door softly. Toby wasn't wrong. He had missed this feeling. He jogged a few steps into the yard and flopped down on his back, grinning at the sky.

"Tobes you have no idea how good this feels. Six years is _way_ too long to be kept in the dark." He glanced at his friend and frowned, "What?"

Toby looked uneasy, "Speaking of being in the dark… You seem way too happy to have heard."

He sat up, his voice holding an edge of caution, "To have heard what…"

Toby backed away a little, seeming to weigh the best way to break the news to him. He unclipped his warhammer from his belt —another of Claire's finer ideas for being more efficient— and expanded it to full size, not sure how Jim would react.

"So…" he started, getting into a fighting stance, "Stricklander got turned human?"

Jim frowned, "Okay… that makes sense I guess… I mean I did the same thing as soon as I could figure out how."

Toby nodded, bending his knees a bit for a stronger stance, "And he's dating your mom? Like actually dating—"

He yelped, his hammer knocked out of his hands and across the yard where it lay against the fence. Jim's expression was unreadable, seeming highly conflicted.

"He's… Strickler and mom… give me a minute."

Toby nodded, wondering if perhaps the man in question wasn't wrong to grade his essays so low back in school. Words weren't exactly his specialty.

There was the sound of a car door at the front of the house and a chirp as it locked. Jim's scowl deepened.

_Speak of the devil._


	3. Simmering

To say that Walter Strickler was in a good mood would be a gross understatement. He paused after locking his car, looking up at the clear sky and smiling to himself. As much as he hated Merlin, the old wizard knew his magic. His years trapped in his troll form had been hard on him —despite Barbara insisting, he was never convinced that shade umbrellas were very fashionable— and he was determined to enjoy every moment of being human that he had. He adjusted his hold on the bag of groceries he had picked up on his way. He had planned this for weeks. There was no way he was letting anything mess it up.

Jim had practically ran inside when he heard the car, waiting at the front door with a frown. His mom deserved better than some ex-changling, especially one who had put her in harm's way on multiple occasions. Walter hadn't even called him to ask if he could date her! I mean of course his mom could make her own decisions, it wasn't that he doubted her, but why Strickler? And his mom and him… that was his entire family. Shouldn't a guy at least ask his opinion before just letting himself in?

Jim heard Walter's footfalls on the front steps and pulled the door open, ready to give him an earful. He paused as he looked over the man before him. He looked… Shocked—but not unpleasantly so—to see him, a smile tugging at his features.

"Ah, young Atlas. You've aged well. I was wondering when I might see you again."

He stepped past him, heading to the kitchen and setting the bag on the counter, starting to unpack it. From the outside he looked incredibly relaxed. This was not the case.

_Jim is back. And he's human. Pale Lady what did I do to deserve this… Relax. He won't know a thing is wrong if you keep calm. Don't show weakness. _

Jim snapped out of his state of shock, glaring after Walter. He closed the door, walking over to the entryway to the kitchen and crossing his arms.

_So that's how it is huh. Ironic how changelings never seem to change. Two can play at this game you old man._

"Stricklander," He fought to hide his smirk at the way the man jumped a little, "Let me do that for you. You should rest."

The implication was not lost on Walter and his fingers unconsciously drifted toward the knife block.

"That won't be necessary _son_," Walter watched Jim's knuckles turn white at the term, "I'm quite capable of running a household. I've been looking after Barbara for the past six years after all."

_And I was planning to surprise her with a lovely romantic dinner this evening but obviously that's off the menu now no thanks to you. I suppose you thought you could just take off for six years and I would be stupid enough to happily bow out of your life the moment you returned? Perhaps trollhunting alone isn't why you did so poorly in your last year of school Jim._

Jim took a breath, forcing his muscles to relax as he walked over beside him and picked up the bottle of wine. He scowled at the price tag. Expensive wine meant a special occasion. He doubted that Strickler could match his own cooking skills. Perhaps he should offer to cook tonight.

"Mom's favourite huh? Trying to compensate for something?"

Walter grit his teeth, silently putting away the last few groceries before turning to face Jim. The tension in the air was thick enough that he could cut it, something he wasn't unfamiliar with, in particular when it came to him and the boy's relationship. He could handle this.

_He couldn't handle this. This smart mouthed man was ten times worse than the boy he had taught years ago. How dare he imply that he—_

Claire rubbed her eyes sleepily, a frown working its way onto her face. Who was talking so loudly when she was trying to sleep? She sat up, looking through the opening into the kitchen and sighing inwardly. That wasn't likely to stop anytime soon. She lay back down and draped an arm across her face.

"Jim…. Couldn't you two have waited till I woke up?"

She felt sleep gently tugging at her mind as silence fell over the kitchen for a moment. How long had it been since she slept this well? She couldn't remember. Maybe a few moments more wouldn't hurt if she could just—

Strickler's voice was officially her least favourite sound. At least the volume had diminished. She sighed, taking a moment to process the previous night, her annoyance evaporating in a heartbeat.

Jim was home.

_No more late nights wondering if he was hurt. No more 4am conversations with unsteady cell signal. No more being alone._

She smiled, climbing to her feet and doing her best to smooth out her clothes. A brief encounter with her reflection made it clear her braid wasn't salvageable. Shrugging it off she poked her head into the kitchen.

_Huh. Who knew you could chop vegetables that angrily. Then again Jim did have more experience recently using blades as weapons as opposed to kitchen utensils. Strickler on the other hand…_

Strickler set down the spatula he had been holding, sneaking warmly, "Miss Nunez. I suppose I should have suspected that with Jim being home you would be right by his side. I'm happy for you two. Relationships between species can be... complicated at times. Particularly those which are also long distance. Why I can only imagine if Barbara and I were—"

Claire stifled a laugh as Jim diced several carrots aggressively, tossing a pointed look a Strickler that stopped him from continuing his thought. She walked over and stood on her toes, kissing her boyfriend's cheek and running a hand over his unkempt hair. Her phone alarm went off and she made a face.

_Life waits for no one. I'd better head out now if I'm going to drive Enrique to school today._

Jim sighed, pausing his assault on the vegetables long enough to pull her into a hug.

"You've gotta head out... I'd know that expression anywhere. It's the same face mom always made…"

Claire nodded, her voice muffled by his chest, "Gonna need you to stop crushing me first troll boy…"

Strickler snorted, playing it off by clearing his throat and speaking up, "Jim why don't you see her home? I believe I can handle making dinner in your absence.

Jim let Claire go and hesitated a moment before sighing. The tension in the air dissolving like winter giving way to spring.

He nodded, gesturing to the frying pan with vegetables in oil on the burner as he replied, "Don't let that heat up too much. The only one who gets away with setting stuff on fire in this kitchen is mom. Strickler just..." He paused, seeming unsure about his next words, "try not to make me regret this."

A calm silence fell over the house as they door shut behind them. The sunlight sliced through the window and painted Walter's shadow across the floor. Jims words were heavy in his mind.

_Did this mean he trusted him? Was he giving him a chance to prove himself? Maybe… maybe he could still fix this. All he had to do was— What was that burning smell?_

Walter's train of thought went up in flames with the oil in the pan. He turned the burner off and moved the pan, using a dishcloth to beat out the fire.

_At least it wasn't the meat. Vegetables are much more easily, and cheaply, replaced. Hopefully Jim would understand. Accidents happen after all._

Walter cleaned up the mess and started over, everything finished and beautifully plated by the time Barbara got home that evening. He could practically see the stress melt off her shoulders as she stepped inside and was met with the smell of dinner. She looked beautiful. Not that this was something he considered less than constant when it came to the redhead but she practically glowed today, any traces of worry of grief far banished from her features. His breath caught when she smiled at him.

_He loved her. This… This was what made human life worth living. He couldn't fly. He wasn't inhumanly strong. He couldn't see in the dark even remotely. But he could make the most beautiful woman in history smile like that. He could make her happy._

He couldn't have kept the smile out of his voice if he tried while he greeted her, "Hello love. You look breathtaking."

She laughed, kissing his cheek and shaking her head a little. He could practically feel himself fall more in love with her every time he heard that sound.

"Walt you always say that but I'm pretty sure that my uniform isn't the most flattering thing I have in my closet."

He smiled, kissing her forehead as he took her jacket.

"I said _you_ look breathtaking Barbara. Not your uniform. I'll let you go change into something more comfortable though. Dinner's on the table and

I suspect Jim will be returning soon. He was walking Claire home. You did an impeccable job raising him into such a fine young man."

Barbara nodded, hugging him tightly before heading upstairs, calling down, "Jim's accidentally crashing a date you planned isn't he."

He knew that tone. It wasn't really a question, nevertheless, as always when dealing with women, he also knew there still remained such thing as the wrong answer.

He paused a moment before replying, "Jim is your son. I'm not opposed to a family dinner for a change. Though I fear he may call my culinary skills into question if comparing them to his own."

He heard her laugh and smiled, double checking everything was in place.

_A family dinner. He hadn't had one of those in a long time.. and never with a real family. Never one where he belonged. Perhaps Jim being home wasn't such a bad thing after all. He just needed the boy to warm up to him._

When Jim got home and walked into the dining room he frowned, his eyes examining the plates of food. Those weren't the vegetables he had cut. There was no way this was accidental. It was too convenient.

_All right Strickler. You don't wanna play nice? I don't want to play nice either. This though… this was petty. I almost thought you were better than that. My mistake._


	4. Family Matters

Jim split his attention—though it was more so an attempt at switching it back and forth quickly— between his first proper meal since becoming a human, and making Strickler know he was unwelcome without his mom catching on. Luckily his multitasking was improved thanks to the years of combat. He sliced into his steak, the smell hitting him like an aphrodisiac.

_I mustn't look like in enjoying it. Strickler doesn't deserve that satisfaction. But… eating it will keep up the appearance for mom. _

Satisfied with his logic he took a bite, chewing slowly before swallowing. Rocks had nothing on human food. He glanced across the table at Strickler and put a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry I had to step out. I would have happily taken over in the kitchen. I don't think you got to properly appreciate my cooking last time. You tried to stab me, remember?"

Walter let out a startlingly believable sounding laugh, quipping, "I happen to recall the exchange going both ways. You are correct though. I shall have to try your cooking sometime."

Barbara smiled, putting her hand on Walter's and chiming in, "Jim's always been excellent in the kitchen. I think he learned as a way of surviving meals around here."

Walter chose that moment to take a bite of food and Jim begrudgingly awarded him points for knowing how to avoid that conversation. Everyone knew his mom's cooking was horrible, but no one had the heart to agree with her when she admitted it herself. It was kind of an unspoken rule in the house. One he had to wonder if Strickler had learned about the hard way.

Walter glanced across the table at Jim, the sharp glare he met startling him some. Had something happened with Claire while he was walking her home? After all he was sure he had done everything in his power to— His gaze landed on Jim's plate. The meat already devoured but the vegetables neglected.

_Of course he noticed. I suppose this is easily remedied. I'll just explain that— _

Jim interrupted his thought, "So Strickler. How long did it take for you to get the guts to start dating my mom?"

_On the other hand perhaps apologies could wait. Surely the years without any proper parenting had done Jim a disservice._

"As a matter of fact," Walter began, "It wasn't a lack of bravery but rather the knowledge that no amount of good in the world could possibly make me worthy of a woman so lovely that kept my mind preoccupied. I could never apologize enough for all the things I've done and yet…" His tone softened as he glanced at Barbara, "Somehow… She found it in her heart to forgive me. Truly in all my years I have never met anyone with such a capacity for love."

Jim felt a pang of guilt. As much as he was mad at Strickler, he couldn't deny that the man really did love his mom. She looked happier than he had seen in a long time. He couldn't possibly take that away from her. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

"Hey… Walter. Wanna help me in the kitchen for a second?"

He saw the surprise register on the man's face as much as he heard it in his voice. They had never really been on a first name basis. It felt unfamiliar on his tongue.

Walter stood up, a genuine smile on his face. It took years off of him. The atmosphere of the house had shifted, the air of aggression finally starting to let up.

"Of course Jim. Barbara dear, you don't mind do you?"

Barbara smiled, fixing her hair as she answered, "Of course not. It's good to see you two are finally starting to get along."

Jim and Walter both froze, guilt painting their features as she looked between them both and laughed.

"You two didn't honestly think I wasn't going to pick up on the tension did you? I'm a mother. It's practically in the job description." She stood and pressed a kiss to Walter's cheek, hugging Jim tightly, "You two had a bit of a rough history, I know. But I happen to recall hearing about what a great history teacher someone had before all this troll hunting business went down. And I know for a fact that Walt here was saying how nice it would be to have a family dinner with you Jim."

He blinked in shock, speaking without thinking, "You… want us to be a family?"

Walter nodded a little, resting a hand on Jim's shoulder, "I know I'm not exactly the ideal father figure but—"

Jim cut him off, "You're fine. I just… I'm gonna need some time to get used to… well… not hating you."

_A family huh… I mean… it's not an unpleasant sounding idea. I'm just not sure about this whole having a dad thing._

Barbara smiled, collection the empty plates. The mood was still awkward, but at least the tension was all but gone. Her statement about the atmosphere in the room had been kind of a gamble. She wasn't used to reading Jim after how long he was away and Walter's ability to put on a friendly face was second to none. She silently congratulated herself for getting things right and not making the situation worse instead.

_A real family… When was the last time that sounded like a possibility? Let alone a good one. With James... things had been simpler. No trolls or magic or messy history to navigate. But even then she messed it up. So why did this feel so right? Was it even fair for her to be selfish like this? To ask Jim to forgive Walter? To ask Walter to take on the baggage James had left her with?_

"Barbara…?"

She blinked a few times, the stack of messy plates gone from the table and the vibrant green of Walter's eyes coming into focus.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must just be tired from all this excitement recently. Why don't we all sit down and watch a movie together?"

"I have a lot of movies I need to catch up on," Jim commented, going over to the TV and getting it set up. "Do you care what we watch?"

Barbara smiled, trying to dismiss her worries as she answered, "Whatever you want is fine. I'll get snacks."

Walter put a hand on her back, walking into the kitchen with her and pulling her into a hug gently, pressing his lips to her forehead gently. The tension started to melt out of her shoulders before her doubts slipped back into her mind.

_How long until he leaves too? _

He frowned, cupping her face gently, his thumbs brushing across her cheeks. He was worried. How far they had come from the early days where she couldn't tell if he was being genuine or not. He wasn't even trying to hide it this time.

"Barbara… talk to me love. What's weighing so heavily on your mind?"

_Oh not much. Just thinking of all the reasons this isn't going to work out. Wondering how long till you'll leave._

"I'm fine. Just tired. It was a long day at work and—"

Walter cut her off, "It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you're not ready yet. It's just hard to see you like this…"

_Will I ever be ready though? Or are you just going to be another James all over again? I don't want to lose you too Walter..._


	5. Old Scars

Walter Strickler had never considered himself bad at guessing what people were thinking. Years of tactical conversation had in fact honed his abilities to read between the lines. This one time however, he found himself at a complete loss. Was he doing something wrong? Admittedly he hadn't been in a relationship for several decades, and never one where he truly cared for the woman, so it was possible his romantic abilities were... rustier than he thought. He shook his head, deciding that was an improbable cause.

He sighed deeply, wandering back into the other room and setting a hand on Jim's shoulder gently. He was grateful the trollhunter was back. He really was. No one in the entire world knew Barbara better than Jim did and he admittedly was more than willing to ask for help at this point. This wall she was putting up between them wasn't as new as he would like to admit. It was as if there was some corner of her heart she refused to let anyone so much as look at, let alone reach out and touch. He suspected it had something to do with James but knew better than to try and force her to talk about it. Relationship scars like that ran deep and often healed messily.

Jim murmured, "Should we hold off on the movie for tonight then? Mum looks… tired."

Walter nodded, his gaze wandering back to the kitchen where she was distractedly trying to make popcorn, the unnatural pacing in her actions giving away that something was bothering her.

He spoke softly, "Perhaps you and I could talk about that instead? I'd like to see Barbara resting."

Jim nodded, immediately picking up that something was wrong. He refolded the blanket he had gotten out, setting it back with the others and flicking the television off. He seemed surprisingly tense as he stuck his head around the corner into the kitchen and Walter took a mental note to discuss it later.

Jim smiled as he spoke, "Hey mom! I'm... actually not sure I feel like watching anything tonight. I was thinking, me and Walter could stay up and chat for a bit? We'll keep it quiet though, so you can get some extra sleep."

You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed as Barbara tried to comprehend what she had just heard. Jim and Walter wanted to talk. When her brain caught up she nodded, smiling. She could use the rest. There was no question about that. As much as her brain urged her to ask about why she couldn't stay for their talk, she felt ready to collapse.

Did I do something wrong? I must have but what? No... No Jim wouldn't do that. You're overthinking things again... Right?

She pulled her son into a hug, shaking her head a bit at how small she seemed now as she agreed, "I could use the extra sleep anyways. Not that you two wouldn't have guessed that already knowing you and Walt. Goodnight Jim. I love you."

He smiled and hugged her tighter, replying, "I love you too mom."

Jim watched quietly as Walter and her said goodnight for just a moment, his thoughts wandering to Claire as a smile settled onto his expression. He found the coffee machine starting a new pot before he even registered turning it on. The rich smelling brew started to fill the glass, the way the light caught it and turned it slightly warm reminiscent of her eye colour. Now that he had finally seen her again, time since felt unbearably long. He wanted her there again. He wanted to hold her. He really wanted to kiss her. He was standing next to Walter.

He jumped a little, scolding, "Do you ever make noise when you walk?! Geez! Warn a tro-" He stopped, correcting himself with a slight smile. "Warn a guy."

The older man smiled, his voice gentle, the lack of malice behind it still unfamiliar to Jim, "Thinking about miss Nunez? I'm happy for you two. It's not often high school sweethearts can maintain their relationship. Generally it... putters out. Like a car with an old battery."

Jim laughed, "You know you're starting to sound more and more like an old man Mr. Strick- I mean Walter. Sorry. Wow. That's gonna take some getting used to." He tried to find an excuse to change the topic, not even nearly adjusted to this new dynamic they were working towards. "Coffee? I figured it would keep us awake enough to converse."

Walter nodded, agreeing, "I think we could both use it. Despite my recollection of you sleeping well into the day I understand that this is rather opposite your usual routine."

It was a comfortable silence in the room as they both poured their drinks. Like the lull after a family dinner ought to be. Walter's mind was buzzing though. He had so much he needed to discuss with the boy that he wasn't quite sure where to start. He noticed a scar peeking out of the edge of Jim's sleeve. That would do just fine.

"I kept my scars too. Not that I had a say in the matter. Rather an unsettling process turning into a human... It takes a great deal of time to properly adjust, or in your case, readjust. I still don't think I'm used to feeling so… vulnerable."

Jim tugged his sleeve down, sipping his coffee quietly before replying, "Does it get easier...?"

Walt felt a pang of sympathy. He knew the question wasn't just about being a human. Knew how hard it was to try and settle after what felt like a lifetime of fighting. Of killing.

"Most days it does... But sometimes you can't help but think about... the past. What you would have done differently had you known. The lives you could have saved and... And the ones you didn't." He paused, not wanting his drink to grow cold and appreciating the second to collect himself and his thoughts. "But we can't change the past any more than we can escape it. Trust me. I've been running away from mine for longer than I care to admit." He glanced at Barbara's abandoned attempt at making popcorn. "That's not exclusive to trolls."

Jim was quiet for a moment before murmuring, "Mon's been acting closed off again right? James... My dad... He wasn't a nice guy. I mean who... What type of creep just leaves?! I didn't get it back then. I kept trying to figure out what I did wrong. Kept waiting—like an idiot—for him to come back. For… for anything really." He grew quiet, shame filling his voice, "I blamed mom once." He visibly flinched at his own words, taking a breath before continuing. "When I couldn't find something I did wrong and I was a bit older... We got in a fight and I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to say something to make her upset. I said dad must have left because of her. I just didn't… I couldn't deal with the idea. For him to have left because of me. Because I was scared mom might leave because of me too then."

Walter Strickler had never considered himself bad at guessing what people were thinking. But he admittedly hadn't seen that coming. His mind was reeling. not just because of what Jim had confessed to but all the other implications that went hand in hand with it.

Barbara... She wouldn't blame herself. Would she? For the actions of a man who obviously didn't know how very lucky he was. James sounded like an altogether unpleasant man; not even worthy of the title of father, let alone dad or husband. But for Jim to have blamed himself for so long… Maybe she still hadn't forgiven herself, even despite the glaringly obvious fact that she did nothing wrong.

The silence that hung between the two men was broken by the sound of Jim's ringtone before either of them could think of something to say. Jim mumbled an apology before answering, the tension draining from his posture.

"Claire, how are you babe? What? My text? Ahh… I was just… That is…"

Walter smiled a little. It seemed that much like himself Jim had found an anchor. Now he just had to hope Barbara was willing to do the same if he offered to be one.


	6. Anchors

**-Jim-**

Claire felt her heart skip a beat at his voice. She wasn't used to how it sounded now and she would never admit it to his face but it made her stomach twist in knots.

"Jim is... everything alright? You sound distracted. I didn't interrupt movie night did I?"

She tried her best to keep the concern in her tone balanced with teasing. She could tell something was off—being in love with someone for that long would do that to a girl—but she could count on one hand how many times she remembered him sounding this fragile.

His laughter sounded forced and muffled through the phone speaker. "How do you know I don't just miss my favourite girl?"

She frowned, putting her sneakers back on as she spoke, "I'll come over okay? Can you meet me out front?"

There was no reply at first and she pressed her phone closer to her ear, just barely picking out the sound of a sob.

He cleared his throat and answered, "No you don't have to. I'm alright."

She scowled, "James Lake Jr, don't you try and lie to me. I'm coming over."

She ended the call and shoved her phone in her coat pocket. A part of her wished that this could have happened on a warmer night but she shook her head a little and started off.

When his house came into view she stopped. There he was, standing at the end of his driveway, looking like he had just lost everything.

"Jim!" She called, running over and throwing her arms around him. "What happened? Look at me, are you hurt? Did you fight with—_"_

Jim cut her off, leaning down and hugging her tightly enough that it bordered on painful. He was shivering despite his jacket and his eyes were red from crying.

"What if it really was my fault?"

"What if what was your fault?"

"What if James really left because of me?"

Jim felt her freeze at his question. His voice broke in the middle of his sentence and he couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs.

"What if I'm the reason that—_" _he gasped down a lungful of air, focusing on keeping his knees from buckling. "Maybe if I had been a better son then—_"_

"I'm so sorry I called you James" She whispered into his chest. "You're nothing like that horrible man."

He held her at arm's length. "But what if you're wrong?! What if I'm just like him! What if... What if I vanish one day too? I..."

She slowly loosened his hold on her and stepped close, her head resting on his chest.

"I'm scared I might hurt you too." She spoke gently.

He froze for a moment, the words obviously taking him by surprise.

"Claire you would never—_"_

"Neither would you." She looked up at him. "I don't know what brought this all on Jim but I know you. You would never do what he did and you never deserved that. Not even for a second."

Jim wasn't even aware he had been holding his breath until he stopped. The tightness in his chest hadn't vanished yet. He hadn't expected it to. It had always been there—like a pebble that wormed its way into a shoe—wearing away at him little by little.

He had seen this breakdown coming a mile away. What he hadn't expected was Claire. Something about her seemed to ground him. Remind him it was only a pebble. Remind him that his body extended beyond his foot and, although it might take some practice, he could ignore it.

"Hey... Let's get you back inside okay? It's late and you're freezing."

He nodded, a ghost of a smile coming back to his icy lips as he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Thank you."

She smiled back, leading him towards the front door. The grass was heavy with dewdrops and they felt like ice against his bare feet. He hadn't even noticed them before, his mood sitting over him like a fog too thick for him to navigate alone.

"A lighthouse."

She stopped and glanced back at him, "A lighthouse?"

He nodded, smiling properly now and squeezing her hand. "That's what you are."

She smiled a little, "As long as I'm not the only one trying to keep this ship from sinking."

He wasn't sure if it was because of her hand in his or the way that laughter felt after so long crying but if you could capture sunlight—like lightning in a bottle—he was sure it would taste like this.

**-Walter-**

Walter took a deep breath, setting down his now empty mug on the countertop. The sound of the floorboards creaking underfoot interrupted the heavy silence. He had grown too accustomed to being relaxed. Suddenly having that luxury stripped away in such an unceremonious manner felt like having a bucket of cold water dumped over his head.

Mentally he was still standing there; the confessions spilling from Jim's lips as shock set in. All this time, Barbara had never mentioned James. He should have known it wasn't because the old wound had healed with time. He should have been there for her. He should have proven he would be different even without knowing. He hoped maybe he had.

He found himself standing outside her bedroom door. His hand was raised but he wasn't sure if he had knocked or if the sound he heard was just his own heart hammering against his ribcage.

A moment passed, seconds stretching on long enough to last a century before her door opened. She had dark circles under her eyes and Walter couldn't help but wonder if he had James to thank for that as well. The feel of her hand on his face startled him, shocking him out of his headspace he seemed to keep getting lost in.

"Ah, sorry love. I came up to talk to you and then forgot how to talk it would seem." He chuckled, trying to alleviate some of the tension.

She nodded a little, her eyes searching his face, seeming to already know something was off. She opened her mouth as if to speak and then closed it again. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red and he figured out what had happened after a moment.

He sighed softly, carefully pulling her into his chest as he spoke, "You know you weren't supposed to have overheard us... I was going to come talk to you about it..."

Her shoulders shook and he heard her muffle a sob as she nodded a little, her arms circling around him and pulling them even closer. The house was quiet other than the occasional whimper escaping her lips and he took a moment to settle his nerves for what he was about to say.

"Barbara, I love you. I... I know I haven't always been a good man and you deserve so much more than that but if I can continue to in any way make you happy—"

He felt his heart drop into his stomach as she pulled away a little, shaking her head.

"I... please just let me finish. I had hoped to maybe... but if you're not ready I..."

She covered his mouth, cutting him off. He wanted to reach up and cover his ears. To pause the conversation and erase it in case when she said next was what he feared. In case it was a goodbye.

_This is it. I knew I was going to ruin this. It was too good for me. I can't blame her though; I'm a monster. Looking different never changed that. Oh gods please tell me that I'm reading into this wrong…_

Barbara paused a moment, her eyes searching his face. The creases that time had set into his skin always contrasted with his eyes, bright and full of life. She noticed the tint of red at the edges and the glossy look they had taken on. She moved her hand away and leaned in, kissing him softly.

"Walter... hey."

She smiled a little at the surprised expression that had replaced his worry.

"James was... an awful man. I know that now. I only started to realize that after you showed me what a good man was. What _you_ are." She paused for a moment, "I still have a lot of things I struggle with. I get caught up in my head about stuff and I know you see it and then I feel awful for thinking those things because you're wonderful and I know you would never leave like James did! But I was worried that maybe with all my talk about having dinner as a family and everything I might scare you away—"

He shook his head, stepping closer, "Love you could never scare me away."

She put her hand on his chest as if to keep him at arms distance as she blurted out "I'm not ready to have a kid with you though."

He flushed, the thought not having even crossed his mind previously "have a... Barbara I wasn't going to ask you to have a baby with me I was going to ask you to marry me."

She blinked a few times, shock painted across her features as his words registered, "You... Walter what did you just say..? I think I heard you wrong."

He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling self conscious. "I... Well I've been planning a proposal for a little while now." He held his hands up towards her, "But don't feel like you'll have to say yes. I would hate to find out that my wife only married me because I put her on the spot. I mean there are far worse reasons but—"

"Yes."

His eyes widened and he searched her face, "Yes?"

"Yes. I want to marry you Walter Strickler."


End file.
